I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
