At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
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