You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
