Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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