who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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