Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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