That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I smell like Dick and happiness
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
