At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Less talking, more tequila
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
