do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
