He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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