i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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