i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
ttyl tear gas
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize