It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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