The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
