Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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