i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
