So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
