chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
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