she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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