I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
It's like God shit irony all over that family
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
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