we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
