i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
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