You really coming over, don't trick.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Randomize
