you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
