I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
