I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
