At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
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