Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
