And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
