I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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