It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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