Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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