yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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