Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
