Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
