So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
