Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize