it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
