chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
We don't watch enough power rangers
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize