can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Randomize
