mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
