SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
