I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Tell her she can't have a vagina
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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