Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize