I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize