his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
me + whiskey = a bad person
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
