i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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