Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
