I can't watch pbs sober anymore
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
