This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Found your dick twin last night
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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