right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
