Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
