First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Randomize
