Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
