At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize