Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
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