In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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