so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Are my feet made of real feet?
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Randomize
