we're chasing vodka with high fives
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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