some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Randomize
