what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize