either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
People with herpes should wear stickers.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
