sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize
