So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
