then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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