it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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