That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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