I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Can Purell be used as lube?
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
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