I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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