Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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