ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
