did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Randomize
